Getting the match on in the summer is difficult, finding a course that will take a society on Saturday, finding accommodation for those that need it and a golf club that won`t charge a fortune is practically impossible. Hence we started this challenge in Maidstone with the North flying down by helicopter ! Without the efforts of Chris it really couldn`t have happened, and it was hard work for the poor devil as the hotel is actually run by Basil Fawlty`s offspring.

The course was bone dry but a good challenge. The weather humid. Just the kind of day where you need a caddy. Mrs Fuller is undoubtedly the best caddy in the business, great temperament, strong as an ox, fit as a butchers dog and patient when criss-crossing the course, the greens, most of Kent and some of France. She spent most of the day in the broad leafed woodland trying to find my ball. So did Rob and Chris come to think of it. At least they had the common sense to hit theirs way out of bounds and save themselves a search !

Here are the match details in order of play:-

     NORTH                                            SOUTH

Kiran Kapur (12)                             Jason Hutton (18)

Doug Heal (24)             v   1pt       Paul Pollington (21)

The South won this one quite easily in the end, having galloped off to a great start by winning the first four holes. Jason and Paul turned out to be a formidable team. Jason also won nearest the pin and a special mention for his honesty and sportsmanship after confessing how dramatically his handicap is falling. Mr Hutton clearly has it in him to be a single handicap golfer fairly soon. Put Paul in the mix and this was a very potent outfit, beating Kiran and Doug is not easy which is why they were sent out first. The South can be very pleased with this point.

Roger Bishop (20)                                              Dave Rowe (21)

Mark Shaw (28)             ½ pt       v.     ½ pt       Richard Marston (25)

This always looked like a critical match, and with the South starting so well in the first game became a “must not lose” scenario. When the team sheets were exchanged it looked an even match and that is exactly how it ended up. The North were winning after nine holes, the match swung to the South on the 17^th hole thanks to a great tee shot by Richard. The North had to win the 18^th to get a point. Which is exactly what Roger and Mark did. A real matchplay situation, constantly being relayed down the field by Barry Fuller so we knew the drama that was unfolding. I believe Mr Marston is the man responsible for the magnificent trophy we now have, many thanks go to him and Mr Rowe for having the idea in the first place. Roger won the Longest Drive yet again !! What does he eat?

Clare Kapur (18)                                         Chris Langridge (26)

Gil Wright (23)        1pt         v.                 Rob Smith (24)      

Clare is Fay`s sister, and somehow manages to play with me and still win. In fact as a pair we have never lost having played a fair few matches now. This is a simple formula, just leave it to Clare who tee to green is as reliable as the sun going down and coming up the next day. She never worries and merely smiles at me when my ball disappears into the undergrowth or the next county. The match was even until the 5^th when the North went ahead. Then they won the 6^th and 9^th so were in command at the turn. It is fair to say that Gil , Rob and Chris all had trouble off the tee and that if anything this was the difference. The match was clearly Clare versus the other three and despite my unintentional sabotage she still won easily. If Rob and Chris had played like they can it would have been a different story. I did try and land my wedge shot to the 18^th in the middle of the wedding photos, nearly taking out the bride. Meanwhile Chris single-handedly destroyed a site of scientific and botanical interest to the left of the 5^th tee. Real mens golf! Overall match position at this point was level.

Roz Seabourne (17)                                 Chris Rose (25)

Mike White (24)           1pt       v.          Nigel Phillips (28)

Roz and Mike play a lot (in fact all the Northern pairs have played regularly together which must help) and are battle hardened in matchplay comps. I suspect Chris and Nigel knew Roz would be a difficult opponent, which is why it came as a real psychological blow when they discovered how well Mike`s game is progressing and what a difficult adversary he now is. Mike doesn`t give you holes any more, you have to win them. Mike went off like a rocket and the North held on with a comfortable lead until the end. Barry saw a lot of this match and he confirmed what Roz said in that Chris and Nigel played really well. You can play good golf and lose , especially when your opponents start so well. Aside from the quality of golf these four produced I suspect the most memorable moment was when a befuddled Nigel decided to shoulder his golf bag and stride down the fairway – forgetting Barry's trolley was strapped to it and thus giving himself a double hernia!! Only Wumpa !! He then had a night trying to sleep in the bath and stomping around in his budgie smugglers because of Mr Wright`s snoring. Does Tiger have these problems?

Steve Randall (21)                                       Alex Jasper (25)

Dean Harris (26)         1pt         v.              Colin Morris (25)

Now this is where life gets interesting. Rumours had filtered back to me that the South were in comfortable command of this match. They were indeed winning after 9 holes but the card shows it was evenly balanced throughout. I know the South thought this a strong finishing pair, and they were. We also thought Steve and Dean were temperamentally suited to this important position. When you go out last either the match has been decided and it doesn`t matter or you have responsibility for the whole teams destiny. Fortunately for the North Steve and Dean have a natural Karma which prevents any panic or worry, infact they never seem to actually know what day it is or where they are…….there is calm and there is slightly bonkers.

Having written off this last match as a win for the South we spent an hour having drinks and deciding to call the whole thing a Draw and not bother with count back. Honours even. Pride assuaged. Hands shook. Then about six days after everyone else has finished (infact the wedding party were celebrating their first anniversary…) these four came over the horizon , all dressed in black like the Johnny Cash Appreciation Society. Only to announce that they weren`t sure about the state of the match itself. They had just enjoyed the day, the course, the weather , the chat – oh, and is there a game of golf happening ? When the card was checked the North had come back, won four holes on the back nine to actually win by 1 hole with the last putt on the 18<sup>th</sup>. It doesn`t get closer than that. It doesn`t get stranger than that, fully in keeping with Palermo principles that this is golf Jim, but not as we know it……..

Now as the Northern team were staying at the hotel we immediately started celebrating big time, there was champagne, Jacuzzis, bridesmaids and pictures of the magnificent trophy as I ran naked through reception whooping and hollerin` ….oh happy day ! The good news is that if my Shrewsbury engraver hasn`t retired we shall have the cup engraved in the next few weeks (probably saying “WEST” because his eyesight and general attitude lacks any kind of professional interest where detail is concerned). Finally thanks to our non-playing Captain , Miranda Heal, who set an example of confidence by spending the entire match in the swimming pool and gym because she “knew we would win”. She needs to spend more time with Steve and Dean….

RESULT :   NORTH 3 and a half points   SOUTH   1 and a half points

That doesn`t reflect how close it was or how it would have been if the order of play had fallen differently. So bring on next year at Oxford !!